Rapper Profit: Preaching to the Masses (Summer 08)

Armenian Chronicles sat down with rapper Profit for the scoop on his career and life outside the studio.

ARMENIAN CHRONICLES: What’s your real name and where does your stage name come from?
PROFIT: Well, my full name is Nazaret "Nazo" Aslanian. People ask me, why you call yourself Profit, like its not like prophet - like a messenger from God. It’s Profit - the other way just because I am in the business. I am accordable for that I can be a commercial artist and really answer to the hip-hop business at the same time there is a double meaning.

AC: Who is your producer?
P: Chris P. and Tyron. Those two are my two boys, we are called Entity.

AC: Are they Armenian?
P: They are Armenian too. We have African- Americans involved who are song writers. So, it’s not Armenians trying to know hip-hop and try to give their version of it. We really mix with the black culture that gives us a better edge in the black community with the feedback and all these kinds of things for style.

AC: Are you from here?
P: Yeah, I’m from here. I have never been to Armenia, but I will go.

AC: Do you think Armenians in Los Angeles are more influenced by non-Armenian culture than Armenian?
P: There are different types of Armenians. There are Armenians who reject their culture to a point you can’t tell they are even Armenian. And there are Armenians that are little too Armenian to mix in with the culture out here. And there are a lot of Armenians, they find the balance: they preserve their own culture, beliefs and they respect everything their family stands for, they are open-minded, they mix in with other cultures and I think I am one of those.

AC: Do you parents know that you rap?
P: They know that I rap. My mom does not like it when I curse. I only play the songs that I don’t curse in. I tried to explain to them it’s time for me to pursue it. I am young and I can support myself financially. I don’t have other commitments like a wife or family.

AC: How are you at school?
P: I went to UCI and I studied computers, then I met my homie Tyron.

AC: Describe your time at UCI?
P: I think college is great and you learn a lot about yourself. It’s good to have a degree, college is really tight. You are in you are own world. You are not in the real world yet.

AC: What is more enjoyable, making music or performing?
P: Both, I make songs for scenarios. I can make a song about when you are chilling with your girl, when u want to be intimate or you are with your girl and get into an argument or like in the club I make situational songs, that’s fun for me. Performing is fun, it’s like convincing people your song is about you feeling me and feeling me is what gets me powerful as an MC.

AC: What would you tell the Armenian students about school, life and the world?
P: I would tell kids they would have an easier life if they studied. What you know is important- especially for students to know what they want. I am the type of a person that knows what he wants and goes for it for business, music or girls. We all make mistakes. It’s okay, write your own life story. Don’t sit and think things are going to come to you.

Gino Slik & Psychotic Productions Equals One Crazy Mixtape (Summer 08)

Talin Khechoomian
monkyfacedqt@yahoo.com

For those who plan to view the youtube.com sensation My Big Fat Armenian Family, should prepare themselves for Allen G, aka Allen G of Psychotic Productions’ unique music style.

After having viewed the movie at a press release, the credits rolled, and immediately my attention went to an incredibly catchy and distinctive beat.
After being asked about the tune, Allen shrugged it off as something he just whipped out for the movie, as if it was no big deal.

What gives his beats an edge is his different taste in music. Despite producing beats for rap artists, Allen G. has never been a fan of hip hop.
"I used to sell rock beats, but it was hard because rock bands make their own music," Allen said, "I’ve always been a rock fan."

Though extremely talented on his own, with an obvious knack for his profession, the Psychotic Production CEO has an accomplice who goes by the name of Gino Slik.

Gino Slik compliments Allen G because Allen’s main genre is rock. Slik occasionally catches Allen making excessively long rock-type segments in rap songs and immediately calls him out on it.
When first introduced to the rapper, what initially caught my eye were the two identical chains hanging from his neck representing Lockdown records, the record label he is signed with.
What also stood out were his numerous tattoos, indifferent demeanor and by the way he was leaning on the lamp-post I thought to myself— "Typical hard guy."

I predicted his vocabulary would consist of about 20 words, nine of which would be profane. I also expected a lot of awkward silences followed by "hard guy" stares.

However, after a brief introduction, the jokes started rolling. Almost every comment made was followed by a punch line, a funny impression or just an incredibly real anecdote.

So many sparks came out of this character, that it became obvious what an important, creative asset he is to the team.

"My heart is as big as my gut," Slik joked pointing to his belly. Besides his sense of humor, Gino puts a lot of effort into his lyrics, putting double meanings into his songs to the amazement of listeners.

"Pick up two broads/ then we dash/ U C I’m LA/next day we drop them off to class" he wittily raps in one of his songs.

Gino Slik was raised in Texas among African-Americans part of his life, and has absorbed not only the music, but the hip-hop culture as well.

"I started when I was 13 years-old," Gino said, "I wrote lyrics everyday." Not surprising then is the fact that he has written over 400 songs in his life.

Though he has numerous tracks under his belt, he is not yet ready to release his album. Slik, along with his production team is not willing to settle for less than perfect, and as a result spend countless hours re-recording and re-writing his music.

"There’s a reason people look forward to Dr. Dre’s album, because it’s not like Hurricane Chris’ one-hit wonders," he explained, "Every song has to be different than the other one."
The mixtape entitled The Appetizer is due out a month. The album, Bon Appetit, will follow in about four months and includes collaborations with the likes of One-2 and Crooked I.

The choice of name for the mixtape and cd was no accident. Allen G pointed out that rap has no theme today. If the appetizer is the mixtape, then the album, which Slik describes as being about his hardships, is the main course.

With Allen G’s unique beats and music style, and Gino Slik’s vision, the album is sure to be a hit, not only in the Armenian community, but across the nation.

Gino nicely summed it up, "I don’t want just an Armenian to buy my cd, I want someone in Mississippi to bump my music, ‘cuz then I’ll be accepted."

Barrett Yeretsian: The Pursuit of Passion (Summer 08)

Ani Khodaverdian
ani.khodaverdian@ucla.edu

The timeless conflict of passion versus convenience undoubtedly crosses the paths of many people. It is a test of what people give meaning to and what they want out of life. It is a test of their abilities and capabilities as individuals. This conflict comes at times in people’s lives when they have to make choices, choices that may very well change the rest of their lives.

Barrett Yeretsian was born in Los Angeles on January 26, 1980. He went to the Armenian private school, Alex Pilibos, from 1983 until 1997. At the tender age of 12 he visited Armenia with his family. It was there he started to really appreciate Armenian music and discovered the drums.

He saw his uncle play them and became eager to learn. Barrett’s uncle was very hesitant about teaching him the instrument because he was a "12-year old kid from America who was probably spoiled" and he was afraid that Barrett would not take it seriously. Nevertheless, he gave him a shot.

As soon as Barrett returned to the U.S. he began jamming on his cousin’s drum set. He soon began taking lessons, but they only lasted for three weeks because he disliked his teacher.
He went on to graduate from UCLA in 2001. Yeretsian continued playing drums during his studies. Always looking for a show to play, Barrett found gigs here and there to keep himself occupied and connected to his passion.

In 2001, the developing artist/student received a scholarship for UCLA Law. He had been planning on being a graduate student, and eventually becoming a lawyer. Shockingly, he decided to pursue his true love, music.

Many people may think this was the wrong choice, especially considering the success he could have had as a law student. Not only did he have a high LSAT score and scholarship offers, but traditionally, going to law school would seem like the safer route to take.

So, what happened to the guy who turned down law school for the music industry? He developed a thriving career as an artist, a producer, a songwriter and a composer. After ending his academic career, Barrett became involved with several bands while at the same time working on individual projects on the side.

The bands he was a part of included Beat and Path, and Aviatic. He also produced clips of music that ended up being used for NBC, MTV, MTV2, the hit TV show "America’s Next Top Model," Lifetime Channel, XM Satellite and Radio. On top of all of this he taught drumming lessons, and helped produce other up-and-coming bands. Barrett even became endorsed by Pork Pie Drums. He received a custom, hand-made drum set, and was acknowledged for his talent as a drummer.
It was in 2006 when his band, Aviatic, began to really take off. They won Universal City Walk’s battle of the bands, where they beat 80 other Southern California bands. They began booking shows in the Roxy, Whiskey, and other venues. Aviatic also performed at college campuses, including UCLA and GCC.

They were interviewed in local news stations and had their single "Goodbye Beautiful Day" entered into Yahoo Music, and become one of the top 10 songs. Their name became more familiar, and they were one of best known unsigned local bands around.

I heard about Aviatic through my friend Razmig Harboyan, who was the cousin of Sebu Simonian, the lead singer of the band. I finally met Barrett after one of the Aviatic shows at the Roxy. The band members were standing by a table signing t-shirts and selling their CD, Arrival (still available online at http://cdbaby.com/cd/aviatic).

I decided to introduce myself to Barrett to compliment his music. Once and we began conversing, he asked me if I played an instrument as well.

I told him that I played the drums. Fortunately for me, Barrett offered to give me lessons and wrote down his e-mail address on a napkin for me to contact him. I ended up going to his lessons for about a year, and eventually got to know him as not only a great musician, but an amazing human being as well.

Question: What instruments do you play, and which one is your favorite?
Barrett Yeretsian: Well, I also play the keyboard, base, a little bit of guitar, and also all hand drums. My favorite is the drums.

Q: Which bands/musicians have influenced you the most?
BY: The Beatles, Armenian Composers like Aram Khachatoorian, Metallica (their old stuff), Primes, Deftones, Red Hot Chilly Peppers, Electronica music. As a drummer I would say Tool has had the most impact, as a song writer the Beatles have influenced me more than anything, and as a producer Terry Date, who produced Deftones and Pantera, Rick Rubin, and Martin, who produced the Beatles.

Q. What inspires you to make music?
BY: To me, it is emotional and it is an expression of who you are. So, when I feel like expressing myself I tend to make music, and also I just make music for music’s sake. It’s a treasure.

Q. What is the most important thing that you have learned after working with so many different types of people?
BY: Almost all band members or musicians have over inflated egos, which is their number one downfall. Thinking you can do something on your own is a downfall. Believing that you do not need anyone’s help, or that others can contribute to your music is a downfall.
Also, musicians get two responses from society: old people/the older generation usually don’t like them, but the younger crowd idolizes them. As a result, most musicians try to fight conservative tendencies, and live liberal carefree lifestyles. You cannot do this in today’s industry. You have to be responsible and hard working. There are so many talented people in LA, but there is also a lot of junk.

Q. What do you believe helps you grow as a musician and as a person?
BY: Constantly learning, surrounding yourself with people who love you and challenge you. Always learning from others, always sharing credit, and always being true to yourself. Also, you should never define yourself by one thing. I produce, I score for TV shows, I write lyrics, I do all this stuff, and it’s because I am not just one thing. I am also always asking myself "what can I improve, and what can I learn?"

Q. How has being an Armenian influenced your style of music?
BY: Being an Armenian has influenced me hugely. Growing up as an Armenian gives me a unique perspective as a songwriter, drummer, and producer. In my rock songs there are certain rhythms I throw in that are clearly Armenian influenced.
It adds a Middle Eastern flavor to my music. Then again, in some ways it influences me a lot, and in some ways not at all. For example, as far as making a mark in the music industry being Armenian really did nothing for me. Also, it doesn’t really impact any of the pop music that I produce.

Q. Tell me about your first real show/event.
BY: My first ever event that I played at I was closing up a barahandes (Armenian for banquet) for Robert Chilingirian. He was a wedding singer. It was 1993 and there were about 500 people there. We covered Nirvana and Metallica. I was 13 at the time.
My first LA show my band was opening up for System of a Down. It was at the Anti Club in 1995. I was very nervous and very excited. Me and my band-mates were so hyped up that we were yelling in the car on our way there. You can’t describe the energy you have right before a show like that.
There were 200 people in the audience, it was very cool. It was the first time I felt like I was playing my music for others. The Armenian community has always supported me a lot.

Q. How did you get the chance to play at the Hollywood Bowl?
BY: My girlfriend was actually the one who told me about it. she heard about an Armenian show being organized by Stepan Partamian at the Hollywood Bowl.
So, I asked Stepan if I could perform also. He said I had to have something meaningful to present, and I told him I wanted to perform a song I had written about my aunt, Anahid, who had recently passed away. Stepan had also known her, so he agreed. It was the best show I have ever had.
There were 16,000 people in the audience; from the ground to the sky you could just see heads of people.

Q. What do you love most about music?
BY: The power it has. Every single person in the world has a favorite song. It is a universal language. I also love my relationship with music, and how it adds to my life. You know, my job is music. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Q. Do you have anything you would like to add for other artists out there?
BY: Just, always remember the real reason why you are doing this. It is to leave the world a better place, through your music. Believe in your powers, but never think you are too good to learn.

Be a ‘whole artist’, and more importantly, be a ‘whole human being’. Make yourself a viable artist, surround yourself with the right people, develop true connections, and be yourself.

Barrett is currently working on a new project he is planning on releasing very soon. You can find out more about him, and listen to his music at BarrettYeretsian.com!

Music, a Reflection of the Soul: A Night with Deleyaman (Summer 08)

Allen Yekikan

allen.yekikan@ucla.edu

The music of Deleyaman appears to be a contradiction. Both ethereal and earthy, their sound is heavily rooted in the traditions of Armenian folk while embracing the mysticism of the European countryside. The unique harmony the group exudes, at times, seems alien to the ear and almost impossible to describe. Yet when listening to the music, one feels an instant connection to the rhythm and soul of their acoustics.

The sense of the foreign and familiar commingling permeated the Eagle Rock Center for the Arts on Friday, May 16 as the French-Armenian group Deleyaman performed its repertoire for a sold out audience. More than 300 people gathered in the candlelit gallery to enjoy an evening of music in celebration of the 80th anniversary of the Hamazgayin cultural organization.

The night’s performance brought to life the cultures of east and west through a blend of acoustic and electronic, old and new, according to Hamazkayin Regional Board member Manishag Markarian, who introduced the band. As is customary at Hamazgayin events, one of its members came on stage to recite poetry before the show. With a delightful charm and energy, Matilda Tavanian reciting Gevork Emin’s Menk and Hamo Sahakian’s Akhr, as well as a third piece of her own creation. Through poetry, Tavanian bridged the gap between generations and cultures, across time and space and set the mood for the rest of the evening.

Founded eight years ago in a small French village on the English Channel, Deleyaman consists of four members: Aret Madilian, Beatrice Valantin, Gerard Madilian and Mia Bjorlingsson. The contrasting styles of its members, each with their own unique story and artistic vision, contribute to the sonic alchemy of this novel group’s mysterious hum.

As the lights dimmed in the hall, the warm sound of Jirard’s Duduk began to lure the Armenian soul back to its highlands. Slowly, Aret reinterpreted the sounds of the Armenian countryside as he switched between the Anatolian Saz, his keyboard synthetics and a solo drum. Mia drummed to the beat of the 70s, adding to the Caucasian mix the flavor of rock-n-roll. All the while, the tranquil multilingual chorals of Beatrice transformed the music into what can only be described as a heavenly prayer.

It is befitting that the band chose to take on the name of an ancient Armenian chant between lovers. Over the centuries, Deleyaman has become a symbol of longing, of the passion to a return from exile to the Armenian highlands.

There is an international character to the music of Deleyaman. The group’s founder, Aret grew up in Istanbul, moving to Los Angeles in his teens where he began to experiment with punk music.

Jirard spent years touring the Caucasus, studying with world-renowned duduk masters. Beatrice grew up on Baroque, while singing choral every Sunday in her Protestant Church in France. Mia, a Swedish national, is a product of the vibrant jazz and rock sounds of the 1970s. Together, they are an eclectic group who according to Aret, draw musical inspiration from poetry and traditional folk ballads.

"Our music is inspired by Armenian and English poetry," he said, referencing the poetry of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Edgar Allen Poe, the ballads of Sayat Nova and the compositions of Komitas. In addition to traditional Armenian pieces, the band also incorporates Swedish and Celtic folk into its repertoire. Both elements, Aret explained, are a perfect marriage, which illuminate the soul of the band.

"Just like with Armenian music, the instruments and vocal harmony of Celtic music speaks to the heart," he said. "There is something nostalgic and melancholic in Armenian and Irish music." "We have an ancient medieval Swedish folk song and I am certain every Armenian will feel a connection to it when they hear it," he added.

He explained that the band doesn’t limit itself to just one principle or element when creating music. Each song is a combination of the unique musical background of each of its members.

"My specialty in the group is to mix different harmonies," Beatrice added. "Personally, I love Baroque music. I would listen to Bach and Vivaldi when I was young."

Mia, who was involved with jazz and rock prior to joining the group, explained that the unique style of the band has actually inspired her to play the drums and percussion in a very different kind of way than she was normally used to. "But it doesn’t prevent me from finding my place," she noted. "I don’t play a repetitive rhythm. It’s quite another approach. All the various sounds integrate very well.

Aret explained that this type of harmony between the members of the group is because each member is quick to understand one another. "We know how to follow each other’s inspirations and rhythm," he said.

To date, Deleyaman has produced three albums. The first one, entitled 00/1 was released in 2001. The second one, released in 2003 was titled "second," while the their latest CD, released in 2006, is entitled "3" and is a play on the 21st letter in the Armenian alphabet, "Hee" ("E").

Ironically, it wasn’t the Armenian community of France that first embraced the band when they started out in 2000. "We would get mixed crowds but it was mainly the gothic and alternative crowd that was first attracted to our music," Aret explained. "We didn’t have a big Armenian fan base at first," he added. "It was somewhat strange to come to terms with the fact that the Duduk was so well embraced by people who didn’t even know what it was." But last year, the Naregatsi Art institute in Armenia invited them to do a tour of Shushi, Yerevan, Goris and Gyumri. "It was very exciting," Aret remarked. "The Armenian crowed reacted very well to our music."

"I think our music isn’t just Armenian, it’s universal," he said. Music should not be named, because the minute it’s categorized, part of its essence is lost, all the band members agreed. "The deeper we look in ourselves, the closer we get to a fundamental oneness with the universe," Beatrice explained. "There is something universal in solitude." This sense, that music gives life a deeper meaning—that it is meant for more than just entertainment, is the philosophy behind the music of Deleyaman. "The process of looking inward is something that’s very liberating. I don’t remember who I am or what I am doing when I am making music," stated Aret. That spiritual feeling of liberation, however, can be found in Armenian music, according to Beatrice, who said she grew up in a very compartmentalized and rigid protestant home. "There’s something universal to it; an infinite aspect that you can kind of experience but never really grasp," she remarked. Aret agreed. "There is a very strong spiritual element in Armenian music, and I think it has been lost," he said as he picked up the band’s second CD to illustrate his point. "It’s the seventh letter of the Armenian alphabet," he explained, pointing to the drawing of the letter "Eh" ("7") on the album cover. "Eh" has many meanings. The most basic of them is simply, "is," or "everything is," according to Aret.

But in Armenian Christian tradition, the letter "Eh," is a direct reference to God or eternity and means, "He exists." Aret was right. A vital aspect to Armenian music has been forgotten. Komitas too believed that we had overlooked the spiritual side of who we were as a people. After traveling across the Armenian plateau, recording and transcribing Armenian folk and liturgical music, he noticed that the liturgical songs that he had collected from villages and ancient monasteries were, in their primitive forms, virtually identical to the folk songs created by the Armenian peasant as he sang about his daily life experiences.

A Visa to Lands You Hardly Know; Experimentation at Its Best (Summer 08)

Tigran Avoundjian
tavoundjian@ucla.edu

Mile-high sand dunes and desert winds give way to an oasis tucked neatly away somewhere in the Mediterranean, with hand drums beating away behind harmonized guitars sounding almost like snake charmers.

Sorry kids, this isn’t a scene out of Aladdin, it’s the first minute of "To the Gods" – the opening track on Visa’s "De Facto".
The hypnotized snakes dance as singer K’noup’s voice beckons "It’s up to you to run and hide to a land you hardly know."

"De Facto" travels to a land hardly any of us know, one filled with knotted snakes, wailing woodwinds and even "Mediterranean thieves" that contrast starkly with the mundane, urban clutter that surrounds our everyday lives in Los Angeles.

The band sets out to do just that, describing themselves as a "passport into a musical endeavor" that balances "old world nostalgia and modern experimentation".

Oddly enough, Visa started out as a side project for founder K’noup. "I thought of it more as something like synth, you know, as kind of like electronic music," says K’noup about the formation of Visa.

After the 9/11 attacks devastated the New York music scene, K’noup – then preoccupied with his main project, Neurobox – decided to head west to Los Angeles.

After passing out Visa demo CDs to Neurobox concert goers for two years, an all acoustic Neurobox show featuring a few Visa songs finally revealed the project’s true potential to its creator.

"All of a sudden, I’m just like, ‘Hmm, I can do this as a band, and not necessarily as just an electronic synth project." Shortly after, the world music band Visa came to life, an enticing mirage flickering in the distance of Neurobox’s heavy metal desert.

However, the mirage of Visa as a world music phenomenon became a tangible, entity with the addition of Jivan Gasparyan, Jr, who introduced the melodious wails of the duduk, a traditional Armenian woodwind instrument.

Jivan’s duduk permeates all of Visa’s music, calling out and dragging the listener away from the comfort of their homes, cars, headphones, and sound systems, to a land few have ever, dreamt about.

According to K’noup, "[Jivan’s] the paranormal. At least to strangers who don’t know what the duduk is, it’s like, ‘What is that?’ It’s intriguing to the listener."

As intriguing as the duduk can be, Jivan is only part of the Visa experience. With dueling guitar harmonies, a traditional rock drum set infused with various percussion instruments, keys flowing smoothly through the background, and K’noup’s bellowing serenades tying everything together, the Visa experience blows in like the Khamsin and sweeps you off into the desert night.
What started off as a small electrosynth side project, has blossomed into a nine piece pseudo-symphony. As K’noup puts it, "I sometimes think of us as an orchestra rather than a band…[Visa] started out as a synth project that I had as a hobby, and now it’s turned into my first preference."

With a new record on the horizon (/Eros/ is set for release this summer), the band has decided to tweak their creative process, placing less emphasis on K’noup’s songwriting, and more on the rest of the band’s contributions.

K’noup admits, "This record is turning out to be our strongest record. Everybody is coming together and contributing, putting their two cents in," but at a same time, he’s still holding the reins and making sure everything remains true to the band’s identity. "I make sure we’re on the same passage to the Visa sound. I want to be able to experiment, but still keep that Visa vibe."
Experimentation. The very word sends shivers down a music fan’s spine. Experimentation can lead to very horrible results (for example, Metallica’s /St.Anger/), but it can also breed a new energy and forge a new creative direction for a band.

Visa’s very foundation has been experimentation and taking risks – nine members playing seven different instruments is hardly the traditional rock band lineup – and in this respect, experimentation could be a very good thing.

Whatever the outcome, one thing is clear: /Eros/ will be the next step in the maturation of K’noup’s world music vision: a passport – a /visa /- into lands that you hardly know.

Girl Saving Her Karmir Khndsor Strikes Back (Summer 08)

Emily Bagdasarian
emilyme52001@yahoo.com

As there is no need for pompous eloquence, I will merely state my opinion in the hopes that it will be welcomed into the opinion section of this newspaper: I am completely disappointed by the recent influx of articles regarding Armenian girls and their chastity.

Sure, they make for an entertaining read; in fact, a majority of readers will certainly recall exactly which articles I’m speaking of, while being unable to name other articles from the same issue. Are we promoting a newspaper or a tabloid? Is this writing supposed to exhibit literary merit or sensationalism?

The purpose of the /Armenian Chronicles/ is to share our culture and experiences with the UCLA student body at large and, in doing so, further establish an Armenian presence on this campus. It is to let others know what we are all about. I’m not suggesting we offer a compilation of synthetic propaganda about Armenia and Armenians. However, there should be and hopefully there are, non-Armenians reading our newspaper.

Instead of letting them know how Armenians feel about virginity (f.y.i. most ethnic communities tend to have conservative values regarding girls and virginity: it’s not just something we need to get over as Armenians, it’s a stigma that we need to get over as a human race), we should be debating Armenian politics or homelessness or the threat of assimilation. While I don’t mean to demean any arguments against double standards regarding sexuality, as such standards present a threat to achieving gender equality on a larger scale, I maintain that in such a newspaper, other principle issues ought to be addressed.

These same authors – whom I fondly regard as close friends, amazing individuals, and undoubtedly the future intellectuals and leaders of our community – have elected to utilize the /Armenian Chronicles/ as a public forum through which they may display their superior sarcasm and wit. Yet as such intelligent young people, I wish they would offer an argument not founded on blatant, incoherent sarcasm and instead on well thought out and carefully expressed eloquence.
Highlighting what is regarded by liberal college students as an ultra-conservative cultural expectation ends up portraying the Armenian community as backwards and narrow minded. What they fail to do is adequately express the inexplicable kinship one Armenian feels towards another.

This kinship whose causes I will not go into detail about though I am certain that every one of you has felt it upon coming across an Armenian in a strange, new place-makes it feasible for us to discuss such issues amongst ourselves in such a sarcastically incoherent manner. However, the Armenian Chronicles is NOT exclusive to Armenians.

If you’re going to criticize a backwards mentality on sexuality, think of the cultures that physically harm their girls upon learning of acts of "indecency" in order to preserve family "honor." I have yet to hear of an Armenian family who so much as kicked their daughter out of the house for such a deed (maybe there is one, I don’t know).

In short, I am disappointed that our newspaper is addressing such issues and in such a tone. It is merely a reflection that we need more writers who are willing to share other, possibly controversial, issues.

My Experiences As a Superstar Undergrad (Summer 08)

Angela Mujukian
Ladybruin24@ucla.edu

By 6:45 am, I have already left my house in Pasadena and am not looking forward to the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 405 freeway to UCLA for the next hour. By 7:45 am I arrive at the Medical Plaza and walk in with my personalized stitched lab coat, my neat badge and of course my Hello Kitty pen.

It’s another day, new patients to see, and new medical terms to learn. I walk into Module 1 and greet all the doctors. And then walks in Dr. Raffi Tachdjian. If anyone has seen an episode of House then they would know at the Pediatric Pain Clinic, Dr. Raffi is House.

By 8 am, our first patient has arrived. We review their report, vital signs, and questionnaires and then go in to greet the patient. We sit with them for about 2 hours and discuss everything about them ranging from their past medical history to their social life and what they want to be when they grow up. We then do a quick physical examination followed by a "teenage-talk" where we kick the parents out. We then go back to the module to discuss the patient in further detail. Once we are back in the module it can get intense. I now have to explain to Dr. Raffi the usual "Plan & Assessment" of the patient and of course, he interjects with his comments if I have made a mistake. We then go back into the patients’ room, discuss with them what they have and how we are going to help them fix it.

What is actually interesting is that the Pain Clinic focuses on East-West Medicine & Complementary and Alternative medicine. So we are not just prescribing drugs to the patients but referrals to actual therapy like Physical Therapy, Iyengar Yoga, Hypnotherapy, and Acupuncture just to name a few. Dr. Raffi then gives the patient a gift, a musical CD supporting his Children’s Music Fund Charity; also happily noting that he made Track 10 on the album every time.

In the beginning, I thought shadowing meant that you were glued to the doctor you worked with and the most you would do was observe and learn from what they do. I was completely taken back, and on my first day of shadowing felt like I was an actual resident, doing what med students do, when in reality I’m a first-year undergrad.

It was a new experience being the youngest student in the entire clinic, watching med students consulting with patients not knowing that just in the next few weeks I’d be doing the same thing.
I remember filling out my first outpatient consultation report and Dr. Raffi telling me that I’d never forget this patient and he was right. What’s more intense is the first time Dr. Raffi asked me to go in with a patient alone and said, "Angela do you think you’re ready to take this one?" Moreover, I replied "yeah" with the most timid expression on my face. I could not believe that I was about to do what Dr. Raffi was doing just months ago and I was actually going to talk to the patients and ask the questions this time. It’s not an adrenenal rush, you’re not saving a persons life, you’re just having a conversation with someone who has trust in you, and you’re trying to find out what’s wrong with them by listening to them in order to treat them and cure them from their pain.

The funniest moments I will never forget at the Pain Clinic besides getting yelled at by one of the patient’s moms, was asking a 10-year old, "Does it pee when you burn?" He had a good laugh with that one and it just makes me feel that laughter truly is medicine.
One thing I learned from the clinic, is that even a simple laugh can go a long way into earning a persons’ trust. Dr. Tachdjian is a comedian in the making and does it with ease that makes patients really feel comfortable and he always says "You have to add some humor to it so it will be fun."
People are open minded when they come to the Pain Clinic not knowing what their continuous headaches or backaches are from or what is causing them to have pain. The majority of the patients come in with this chronic pain that sprang out of no where called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) used to be known as RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) that can be developed over time.

The patients and their parents can finally make the connection and see that a small injury from the past like slamming their hand on the door or falling off the jungle gyms, or even a surgery when they were young, could come back later as CRPS when they begin to have sudden shooting pain.

A lot of these kids not only come in with CRPS but stress and anxiety on the chip of their shoulders. Dr. Raffi Tachdjian has started a Children’s Music Fund Charity and hopes to treat future patients with Music Therapy in order to relieve that anxiety and stress.

What is the purpose of the Children’s Music Fund one might ask? "The mission of CMF is therefore to provide musical instruments and MT (Music Therapy) to patients with chronic and life-altering illness, and to research the effects they have on health and well-being," said Raffi Tachdjian. When asked what inspired or caused him to start the Children’s Music Fund, Dr. Tachdjian explained, "There was an unmet need for Music Therapy, especially in the Pediatric Ward at the Massachusetts General Hospital where I did my residency. I found that by using the Guided Imagery provided by Musical Therapy, the patients get empowered in feeling better. What’s more, we often uncover hidden musical talent in these patients that are confined to the hospital or their beds for extended times".

When asked where in the near future do you see Music Therapy research going, Dr. Tachdjian replied, "In the future I see MT (Music Therapy) creating a library of sounds and song categories to treat ailments in a complementary and alternative medicine manner. We need research to see the response ‘immunologically’ to pain, stress, anxiety, when different types of music are played in different settings." The newest album out is called "Open Your Window" and can be found at childrensmusicfund.org.

Throughout this entire shadowing experience, it has not only opened my eyes to different types of illnesses but complimentary and alternative medicine as a new form of treatment. Music therapy is a breakthrough that not only helps patients with pain but also other conditions down the line like Autism & Asperger Syndrome.

If the patient can just get rid of their stress then that may trigger and prevent whatever is causing them to have pain in the first place. If I learned two words and nothing else from the Pain Clinic, it would be CRPS and its treatment Neurontin.

When Dr. Raffi Tachjian asks a question, it is my go-to answer every time.

Pro-Western Plight (Summer 08)

Alexan Yerevanian
yerevanian@ucla.edu

Ter-Petrossian lost the election. He also failed in his ill-fated attempt to reform democracy in Armenia. After being placed under house arrest, Ter-Petrossian did what disgruntled, disempowered politicians do best: he complained about injustice.

His article, "Silence on Armenia," in the Washington Post shows not only a former president dissatisfied with the condition of his country, but a disillusioned politician with little understanding of Western geopolitical realities. The overall message of the article, published March 5, 2008, is rather clear. He is not surprised that the elections were, according to his descriptions, rampant with corruption, but is surprised that the West took no action over it.
Before we consider the election results, we should note that Ter-Petrossian’s sudden reappearance on the political scene is rather odd. After living in obscurity in academia and avoiding media attention for 10 years, what would entice him to re-emerge as, of all things, a presidential candidate? He ran mostly on a platform of clean government, lambasting Robert Kocharian for using criminal means to take power and to govern and accusing Serge Sargsyan of following in his footsteps. These accusations would have carried more weight if his administration had a better track record. Ter-Petrossian’s presidential legacy is one characterized by severe economic difficulties, corruption, and mass emigration. During his administration, Armenia saw the development of a corrupt oligarchy which now controls a very large segment of Armenia’s economy.

Ter-Petrossian’s main point in the Washington Post, and a surprising one at that, was that he was shocked by the "deafening silence from the West." An objective examination shows that the West monitored and responded to the elections on many levels. First, the OSCE Minsk group, which is co-chaired by the United States and France, monitored the elections and judged that they were "largely in accordance" with international standards and a vast improvement from previous elections.

Whether or not OSCE’s assessment of the elections is correct is debatable, but it shows that the West did not turn a deaf ear. But Ter-Petrossian wasn’t satisfied with their response. What reaction did he expect from the West, anyway? An angry letter to Sargsyan? An American diplomat delivering a stern speech decrying dirty politics? Did he expect the West to take arms and swiftly institute democracy like today’s shining example of Iraq?

It is difficult to explain Ter-Petrossian’s reliance on the West to solve Armenia’s problems. It was his intent to adopt the Western formulated plan to cede Armenia’s southern regions of Meghri and Zankezour in exchange for territories in Nagorno-Karabagh that destroyed his presidency. His talks of NATO ascension and deployment of U.S. missile systems in Armenia have antagonized Russia, Armenia’s most important strategic ally.

His refusal to address the issue of genocide, and the firing of his foreign minister Raffi Hovannisian over the issue, gives the impression that he has taken the path of least resistance to appease the West.

To a certain degree, Ter-Petrossian’s political philosophy is understandable. Although our strategic interests and our security are in the long run better served with close ties with Russia, Armenia must have other political, economic and military options and Russia should be aware of that. However, such pro-western leanings must always be exercised within the context of the best interests of Armenia and not of the West, or for that matter, Russia.

One would have hoped that as a historian, Ter-Petrossian would have better understood the dynamics of Russian-Western competition in the Caucuses. It is very easy to be manipulated by superpowers that will not give up an opportunity to exploit internal dissent in order the score points on their geopolitical board games.

Ter-Petrossian’s rallies, rhetoric, and pro-Western policy have stirred up much commotion in Armenia, but done little to pave the way for a more orderly transition to a true Armenian democracy.

A Senior’s Look Back on UCLA (Summer 08)

Gabriyel Mamikonyan
Gm25@ucla.edu

As the end to my college career at UCLA comes to a close, I can’t help but to look back in a bittersweet manner on my years spent here. Entering UCLA in the Fall of 2004, I did not know what to expect. I did not know who my friends were going to be, what my classes were to be like, and what type of social scene I would get involved in.

Little did I know that the next four years of my life would be more rewarding than I could imagine. It’s hard to believe, but I was shy at one point, and was not sure about how to comprehend my new situation.

But through my good friend, Minas Nordanyan, and through my own efforts, I got to know new people and from there began my development.

I got to know more and more people and began being more active with the Armenian Students’ Association. By my second year, we had created such an environment that I looked forward to driving to school every day… it was that fun. I got to be a part of a large group of friends, and together we shared the greatest days.

School became an escape, and our retreat at Kerckhoff was like an artificial haven from reality. I grew more active in my role as an ASA member and in my third year served on the Executive Board as Secretary.

I now sit here, as a fourth year student, and as a Senior Advisor to this same ASA, reflecting on my development. The days I shared on campus, the activities I took part in, the events I helped make reality, the friends I made, are all things I did not foresee when I was a seventeen year-old kid entering college.

But I took the initiative in many of these situations and they lead to great rewards and amazing memories I’ll always hold on to. I’ll never forget donating money on-air at the telethon, the parties and parahandeses, the out of town trips, the fundraisers, the bonfires, the tailgates, the fights, and all the good days in between.

Now I prepare to move on and out of UCLA, a place where I feel I will leave with a good reputation because I gave a lot to it. And it is obvious as to the great things it gave me.
Thus, I would encourage all my fellow Armenians here at UCLA to take part and become active on campus, and especially with the ASA and all Armenian-related activities. You are given a unique opportunity to meet new people, take part in important activities, and grow as a person.
I can say I have taken advantage of this opportunity and would like to see you do the same. Do not forget, we are surrounded here with peers that will one day hold important positions within our city. Let’s push each other to this better future.

The Armenian Elections; Perspective from Yerevan (Summer 08)

Ani Vardanyan was born and raised in Yerevan, Armenia. She received her bachelor’s in economics from Yerevan State University in 2005. Last year Ani obtained Masters in Business Administration from the American University of Armenia. She is currently working as an investment adviser at Capital Asset Management in Yerevan.
Ani Vardanyan
ani.vardanyan@gmail.com

The Presidential Elections 2008 in Armenia were extraordinary as we witnessed such developments and processes that were both astonishing and frightening. The intense situation began far before Election Day, still in the period of elections’ campaign the society has already separated into to "armies".

All layers of society have been included in political issues. Even closest relatives argued and became enemies in those days. Hot debates about politics could be heard anywhere. The main reason of this separation was the fact that many people protested and demanded better life conditions and thought that the change of the authorities would lead to such change.
Although there were eight to nine candidates for the president, society has been divided into two major wings. One voting for Levon Ter-Petrosyan, the first president of Armenia, and the other voting for Serge Sargsyan, the current prime minister.

After Election Day, votes were split among main candidates as follows; almost 53% -Serge Sargsyan and 25%-Levon Ter-Petrosyan, the remaining among other candidates. Nobody can say for sure whether the elections have been falsified, and if so, how it could affect the results of the Elections. But the opposition leaded by Levon Ter-Petrosyan announced that the election results have been rigged and that Levon Ter- Petrosyan has got 63% of votes.

Since the Election Day, February 19, the opposition gathered and began demonstrations in Opera Square. After a few days people began to protest day and night. Many people didn’t even go home and spent their nights in Opera Square. They laid down tents and were provided with necessary food. A very dense atmosphere prevailed in Yerevan at those days as people were afraid of going out late in the evening.

This continued until March 1, when at night the Police broke up the demonstration with force. There were many injured people and even deaths, but it was not announced officially. This became the culmination day of the whole election process, as many horrible developments took place.

After being dispersed from the Opera people gathered in front of Embassy of France on their own and continued demonstration. More and more people were gathering at the aside square during a few hours shouting "Sergio heracir, Levon naxagah".

But Levon Ter-Petrosyan was not present at the meeting as he was taken home from the Opera Square and was not able to come to the demonstration.

Only a few representatives from opposition were present, but the crowd demanded Levon Ter-Petrosyan to come and meet with them. Later in the evening people made barricades for self-defense and were going to spend the night in that Square.

But the Army gathered at the opposite side of the street and at about 9 p.m. in the evening the Army attacked the protestors. Since then the battle began and as I live in the neighborhood where the actions were taking place I heard and witnessed many terrifying things that I have never seen in my life.

It seemed that we were in the middle of war as the neighborhood buildings began thundering from bombing. The Army was shooting in the air with artificial bombs and tear gas designed specially for such occasions.

After about 20 minutes of the scary battle the attack was terminated and the protestors, equipped with wooden and iron sticks, burnt a bus which served as a barricade and made the Army retreat. On the way back the Army tried to put up barb wire, but failed.

At the same time the majority of the protestors were having peaceful meeting in the Square beside the barricades and the part on the front attacked and occupied parts of Mashtots and Lusavorich streets. During some hours the protestors having turned into a hungry and exhausted crowd, with many provocateurs among them, began to burn cars and public transportation.

They remained in the streets and robbed shops on Mashtots street and pronounced awful curses. They were carrying packets of food and beverages.

After these kinds of developments the President of RA Robert Kocharian declared a state of emergency in the country and the crowd gradually began to disperse.

The next day the whole country was in horror after a terrifying night. It was a bloody date in the history of Armenia. There was a total of eight victims, one policeman and seven protestors, but the reality was more than the official number given...

(P.S The other day one of my colleges at work was trying to persuade me that he had got his new shoes from the "Roberto" shoe shop that had been robbed the other day).

The Armenian Experience at UCLA: Where We Are... and... Where We Ought to Be (Summer 08)

Rafayel Mgdesyan
uclastud0020@aim.com

You wake up on one Spring morning and feel the hope that comes with the season, when Mother Nature is in full bloom and you cannot help but feel optimistic about that which lies ahead. Filled with nervous anxiety you walk outside toward your mailbox and check to see if you have received the one piece of document which, in essence, determines where you will be spending the next four (maybe five or six for some of us or about two if you’re a transfer—but who’s counting?) years of your life!

Just this thought alone is enough to make the most calm and collected among us sprint to their doctor for a full-on prescription of Paxil to rid themselves of the anxiety of the moment. So you finally muster up enough courage to open the mailbox and discover a letter from the office of admissions from your "dream school". Upon opening the letter you read the first sentence, "Congratulations! It is our great pleasure to offer you admission to UCLA for the Fall Quarter."
Your heart jumps to your throat and you scream at the top of your lungs in sheer excitement and jubilance. Then after you get a chance to calm down and you stop and think to yourself, "how the hell did I just get accepted to UCLA?"…hmmmm?

Before you know it your summer of endless partying, drinking, and smoking hookah is about to come to a screeching halt when you turn on your Blackberry, or iphone and realize it’s the last week of September and your about to start school. Ok, so you waltz your way onto campus and decide it would be a good idea to attend lecture at least the first day of your first year at UCLA, so that no one can say that your "never " went to class! Oh my, so interesting how bad habits are established from the very outset!

The fact that you decided to attend only one class out of pure laziness and nothing else is just the beginning of your problems! You have no idea which major you are interested in, haven’t even bothered to seriously think about it and have no plans whatsoever of doing so anytime soon.
So, the first day you decide that heck, the Armenian History class taught by this guy named Richard Hovannisian sounds really interesting and you decide to attend. While in class you can’t help, but check out all the Armenian girls in the room and mentally line up a few you might consider talking to, and so you end up eventually hitting on your "top candidate" after class. After hanging with this "top" candidate for about a week or so, you realize that she is just as clueless about her life and future plans as you are, and when she claims that she is at UCLA just to please her parents, while her real passions is to be a gourmet chef or something of the sort, you begin to ask yourself, "when did UCLA open a School of Culinary Arts?" This is when you realize there isn’t one! So eventually this fling doesn’t materialize into anything serious, for obvious reasons, and you move on with your life.

There yet remains a problem here, you still don’t know what you want to do with your life and you decide to make the sacred pilgrimage to Kerckhoff. Upon arrival you introduce yourself to the largest contingent of Armenians on campus and start to mingle with different people. Eventually, you learn how to play belot and go through your unofficial initiation as a member of the "Kerckhoff Crowd". Now as a fully indoctrinated and permanent member of this "secret society," you spend 80% of your day there, 60% of which is spent mastering your newly acquired talent of playing belot. After spending consecutive all-nighters studying until your heart’s content, you still end up bombing every single one of your midterms worse than a U. S. fighter –jet hitting Al-Qaeda targets in Afghanistan; with the exception of Hovannisian’s Armenian History 107A. Careful, don’t let your over-inflated ego take over because the one day that you actually attended class was the same day in which he lectured about Tigran the Great, which coincidentally, was the essay portion of your exam. You lucky bastard!

Today, UCLA has an estimated five-hundred plus Armenians enrolled as undergraduates. It is safe to say that most of us plan on entering into one of the following five professions: doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer or entrepreneur. The thing about us Armenians at UCLA is that we know that we all want to be successful in whichever path in life we decide to embark on, however, the missing ingredient in reaching this end, is a mean. We are too often not sure of which means we plan on employing in order to reach our desired end.

We are all talented individuals in our own right and faculties, or else we would not be here at UCLA. However, in order to truly reach our full potential as a distinguishable group which soars above the rest, we need to demand more from ourselves and strive higher than ever before. Moreover, it is in our interest to figuring out our path to success. My suggestion to the Armenian community on this campus is that we put all the bullshit aside and unite as a single unitary group of students and display a solidarity with one another that goes beyond our Hayastanci, Beirutsi, or Parskahaye divide. I mean true unity! When we look at each other and not judge each other based on this artificial divide, but rather based on each others’ individual character and merit.
The potential byproduct of this massive unification would be limitless. The roots for strong networking among the Armenians on this campus could benefit each of us individually, as well as collectively. For individual purposes, we would have the opportunity to enhance our chances for success by having a system in place where incoming Armenian freshmen to UCLA are mentored by a senior who has learned the ropes and understands the dynamics of how to deal with the pressures and rigors of the university experience. This mentor-mentee relationship would be invaluable for the development of incoming freshmen in overcoming the intimidation factor of being part of a large campus-community. These freshmen will continue on in their successive years of college with more confidence, decisiveness, and a more concrete approach toward the realization of their future career goals.

On the greater collective level, the Armenian community as a whole would benefit immensely as a result of the aforementioned. The relationships which would be established would not only create a tighter bond and sense of community, which would extend beyond Kerckhoff to every corner on this campus where one can find an Armenian, it would also allow for Armenians to have a profound impact on the political, social and cultural impact on this university through its representation in the Undergraduate Student Association Council (USAC). Our top elected Armenian Student Association (ASA) executives could strive to run for higher office, and leave a lasting Armenian imprint on university politics.

All of the benefits of my proposal have the potential to be realized if we just strive and demand more from ourselves. If we set the bar low we will limit our inherent potential for great achievements. In short, imagine a place where Armenians are more effective and accomplished students, positive role-models, dynamic leaders, supportive friends and most importantly, a vibrant community within one of the most prestigious universities in the world—now imagine UCLA.

Paradox (Summer 08)

Ani Khodaverdian
anikhodaverdian@ucla.edu

Many times I find myself at this familiar, yet bizarre, place in my life.
It is a place I can almost always count on ending, yet it does not give me any kind of security or comfort. This is because the place I am in now, and have found myself in before, is one of uncertainty and expected imbalance.

Few times in my life have I reached points where I have felt happy with all aspects of any given situation. Whether with friends, family, or my romantic life, rarely have all three been simultaneously favorable to me.

What I find most puzzling, however, is the timing of it all. Every event/person/thing that has made a turn in the road of my life has happened at the most unexpected and illogical moment.
Happiness and sadness have come and gone in the most unexplainable patterns in my life that I have now come upon a current (and perhaps temporary) conclusion. This is to stop expecting any kind of logical progression of life. I have learned that life is fragile and death is closer than we would like to believe.

Friendships are very easily made and just as easily broken. People who matter to me are a rare find, and for some reason, a group of them tends to stick around, while a romantic partner seems impossible to find.

But could this all be due to circumstance? I find it a bitter reality that I really do not have control over the people I am around and the people I am able to love. Any of my loved ones could pass at any moment. Any one of my friends could move to the other end of the earth tomorrow... so what am I left with?

When everything seems to be going right, all of a sudden it tumbles down into one big pile of unreasonable yet "expected unexpectedness". It is an eerie feeling that I hope I do not encounter many more times in my life. It does show the validity in my atheistic and existential view; still, it does not comfort me.

So what now? Do I go on in this life expecting, nothing? Why do we try to systematize our lives if they are so unpredictable? Why do we set ourselves up for failure every moment, trying to plan ahead what we have no control over? Or so it seems.

Life is one paradox after another, passing me by as I count the loops I fall into.

The Lobbyist (Summer 08)

The Wise Man
theabrawshow@ucla.edu

/Crick, crack, crick, crack.

The crackling corrosion of my oak fire-door paralleled the withered dreams of my own Mamikonian martyrdom; the hemorrhaging of gallant notions serving as the Polaris of my early morning venture. Anxiety tightened my heart as I wringed out of my brimstone residence. Slammed door. /Crack!/ Out, Out and on my way.

Right then, I held two twats in my purview…."Fuck I think the average American would rather Bush…" then some bumbling jumble, then we hit our eternal law "…but that’s just rhetoric." There…that most mocking maneuver to which I languidly lament…/rhetoric/. I’d rather be at the end of the flayer’s filet than watch/hear this. That word which abridges all drudgery into one amalgamation of fury, so demeaning, so undermining; a vaccination of vigor. Black rhetoric, Liberal Rhetoric…Armenian rhetoric. I could barely bide my anguish, if I were so encountered.
Rhetoric?….But if that noose must wrap with such volatile viscosity better it be for some pilgrimage, some remnant of an ideal written in such abstract touches only doses of ignorance can decipher them. Better I not retread the ethos sown in Syriana imperialism, some broken, brutal neo-conservative-Straussian ideology; better to let the glow of some Horatio Alger myth burn out, then begin at the rubble. This is not Rousseau’s Geneva, this isn’t Vartan’s dream, this isn’t the divine comedy…this is the apotheosis of Washington and it is here where worlds are destroyed. So we venture into a dog and pony show with the single exception that there are no ponies.

I had been so passive in previous years; soaking in sadaf chais and Rushdie Novels too steadily to have noticed my settling cholesterol. Some steady unknowing recession of zealotry. Getting soft while these people composed of concrete mix and kerosene paint in colors written by old annals of admiration; the new culmination of generations spent massaging their lineage. And from there party lines drawn by some unsteady logic. But they stand for something, so they’ve already fallen for something. They are not my concern, so much as my obstacle.
All that aside; what initially chipped away my own braggadocio, what incinerated the glimmer of ideal – my Davit Beck dreams, my Raffi reverie – was Washington’s thwarting instrument; that image with recounts all travesties, all villainy, all hoaxes and reduces it with grandeur. The darting enamel-colored Colossus, a pervasive reminder that the murderers and enslavers, can stand as figures of freedom…that the Kemalists are not so far from those who take October 21 as a holiday.

This ganglion of denizens accrued in the city upon a hill, upon a swamp; the same staid sycophants still garnering and gleaning their Jacksonian sensibilities…at every step mutating time and space to draw that out as something admirable. Washington D.C. like some glowing moth trap, pulsing the sensuality of a saber tooth.

These are not our terms; these are the terms written like the drunken passions of a heart-failing fascist; and this District of Colombia stands like some radiant neo-Rome for the hinterland hicks to hold pilgrimages. These are the terms we are given, like drawing a biosphere from the shadows of the cave, and yet, we trot out our martyrs, overwrought and demeaned…to pray to sycophants, war-voters, and arms dealers…in the sunken, solemn hope that we can wrinkle time.

So what does this city mean for the throngs of the hoi polloi, should we lay the finest cloths before its feet, or should we seek to break the gears of a seemingly clockwork orange? Ultimately we can only ever reconcile our ideals with national histories through one tool, one calculated delusion: oversight or ignorance. So in that space this city stands, as a symbol of our daily compromise; how much we ignore to believe in something.
It’s against these intimidating odds that the idealist, the philosopher, the lobbyist becomes so distilled and opaque…that even their most vibrant words return to that omniscient demon…/rhetoric/.
/Crick, crack, crick, crack.

A Room Without A View (Summer 08)

Anonymous

I couldn’t adjust the light fixture in my room; the beaming white light always forces me to look down at the ground. Looking to my left, I could see a plain, off-white wall. There were no corners. To my right was a round window ten feet above the ground. Ahead of me I could see my legs planted to the ground with toes tucked in to avoid the shadow.

Right below the window was a ladder covered in cobwebs. I didn’t know how it ended up there and I didn’t care to wonder why. The vague memories of me trying to climb it for a peek out the window have been fading; but the ladder was too short.

It’s been years since I’ve been able to stand. For the past five years, my bowels have been floating inertly, with gravity cradling them however it pleases. When I try to stand, pain consumes me. Like a vice, it reminds me of my condition. I’ve never been able to manage to loosen the cilice. There has been too much uncertainty, absurdity, and unpredictability for me to use any laws of logic or probability to foretell my transience. There are certain laws I will never accept, but my covenant with nature is irreversible. Nevertheless, I will never cease to repudiate any intuition of death.

How much I pitied those who forfeit to the laws of man. Those who so credulously give in to faith and unknowingly concede perspicacity never come to understand their integration into the fluidity of sophistry. They don’t know what death is.

If only the world could be as weightless like my condition renders me- bound by no obligations, free to form, free to die. I refuse to surrender to the sphere of naiveté.
Ivan came up to me asking me to lay back and drink some opium. After some time, the pain was still there. I swore to end my life at that moment. With gaping eyes, he looked on. There was no conceit to my words.

In my dying hours I remembered how I never got a chance to see anything in the window from the ground except for the clouds shrouding it. When the tempestuous waves would finally settle, I begrudged at their departure.

My condition worsened and the cancer engulfed me in the repast. The suffering didn’t halt for a single moment. My brother knew I was dying. I winced in embarrassment whenever he delivered his pitied looks. I declined any visits by doctors. They couldn’t do anything and they knew it. This was my responsibility. I gripped my brother’s shoulder subconsciously asking him to forgive me, but I meant for him to leave me. My prostration caused me too much pain to be considerate of my words. Language was morbid anyway.

Where was the pain? There, there it was.

And the death? Where has it fled? Where has my fear fled?
There was no death, no fear. Death has ended. I rolled to my side and fell through.