Ani Khodaverdian
I have heard of the philosophy that when we start acting upon our thoughts, instead of instincts, we are separating ourselves from all the other animals. The more we use our minds (as opposed to our nerves) when deciding upon how to act, the less beast-like we become.
Still, are not instincts connected to deeply rooted emotions? Actually, aren’t they one and the same? For example: you see a bear, become frightened, and you run. Someone calls you stupid, and you get upset. Someone whistles at you, and you flip them off.
All of these are linked directly to the first emotion we feel. Almost no thought is put into the reaction. But what if you are a girl and someone calls you pretty? What in the world do you do then?
Living in a society where the majority of women only care about their looks, because their brains have become hollowed out by the horny guys they are forced to live among, and aimlessly trying to impress, makes it difficult for a person to take such a compliment.
Not only is it difficult to give the person who said “You look pretty” a reaction, but all of a sudden we have trouble even digesting the statement, not knowing how to sort it out within ourselves:
-Does he really think I look pretty, or does he want to get in my pants? Or is it both?
-If I say “thanks” will he understand that “thank you” just means “thank you,” and not a blow job at five o’clock?
-What if I just say “fuck off”? But then...what if he just really meant I look pretty? ...I don’t
want to hurt his feelings. Then again, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea...
... and it goes on...
I don’t want to just blame the women in this situation...I do that on a daily basis. No, these social standards and behaviors we humans have come to develop have been derived from gifts from both genders. The packages of silly-fake-unnecessary meaningless- morse code tied with the colorful ribbons of bullshit that we give to each other every day create this kind of a social atmosphere; one of uncertainty, dishonesty, and full of hidden meanings.
You know what the cause of this all is? Fear. The fear of being honest. Why? Because for the majority, honesty leads to another one of people’s least favorite feelings: shame. A word I decided to abandon quite some time ago.
That’s right, I have none (at least I’d like to think so) because shame is linked to another word I do not like very much (especially when people associate it to things that it should not be associated with): embarrassment.
I don’t know about you- but I think being attracted to a person of the opposite sex is something........ I don’t know... natural? There’s no need to blush when your friend asks you if you like Ara. You have committed no crime! If you like him, say “yes” and if you do not, say “no.” AND, there is especially no need to create an elaborate game.
This game (which I never played, might I add, but did watch my friends and cousins and whoever else has been female in my life, play) is one that, more times than not, only causes frustration, confusion, and dissatisfaction for both the male and the female who are trying to communicate on these terms:
Estrogen speaking:
-Oh my God, he smiled at me! What should I do?
-DON’T LOOK! wow... he’s so cute, but make him work for it. Look back at him in two minutes and 34 seconds, that way he’ll know you’re hard to get.
-Yea you’re right! ....... Oh my GOD ??!!? why did he leave???? =(
Testosterone speaking:
-Ey man... who’s that chick?
-Some girl from school... I think it’s Raffi’s cousin.
-Is she single?
-Yea bro, go for it.
-....<
-That’s a nice way of saying “no,” ... just try someone else.
Who decided to come up with these rules? And why do people play by them (especially when neither gender knows what the rules really are)?
If you’ve ever met me, you know that I am blunt- ESPECIALLY when it comes to this aspect of life. If I like someone, I tell them “hey, you know- I really like you” and if I don’t like someone I tell them, “You know what man, you’re cool, but I have no feelings for you.”
And you know what? It works.
When you’re honest and you learn to take someone’s word for what it really means, a lot of unnecessary stress and loads of bullshit are lifted from your shoulders.
What people need to do now is learn to get over their instinctual fears in order to be honest with each other. Try walking on two legs; being on all fours has been unproductive for millions of years. Use your mind to reason, accept honesty as the most reasonable behavior, be courageous, and help make the world a better place.
Sincerely,
Ani Khodaverdian
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