Made the Move: Becoming a Woman

By Rosaline Natalie Paronyan
Rparonya@uci.edu

When high-school comes to an end, young Armenians and their families mostly choose an educational option that keeps the graduates close to home. In my situation, the idea of moving a mere 50 miles away to Irvine for college was stubbornly accepted. My parents understood that leaving the nest would place me in a vulnerable position that would undoubtedly help me grow, mature, and embrace a healthy sense of independence.

The traditions and values they instilled from day one were stagnant and would stay with me whether I was in home, Irvine, or thousands of miles away. My parents knew I would not abuse the freedom I received by moving away from home. So in the end, they loosened their grip and let me take the next step in exploring adulthood. My grandmother has still yet to catch onto the fact that I don’t live at home anymore. This is highly strategic because we all wanted to spare her from constantly worrying about her little granddaughter being a ghastly 2 hours away from home on her own.

If you push all the emotional and moral factors to the side, moving away from home and into an apartment has many physical burdens to take on. I am blessed to have always been sheltered and provided with many conveniences and luxuries while growing up. So before I moved to Irvine, I expected to naturally be prepared to take on the responsibilities and freedoms that my relocation entailed. Little did I know…

Back at home, there was no doing the dishes, my own laundry, cleaning my room, or any common chores of that sort. My “obligations” consisted of doing well in school, hanging out with my friends, and pursuing my hobbies. I didn’t evade these chores because I felt as if I was above them, but because I thought it would be a waste of valuable time, especially since there was someone who did them for me. I never realized how “spoiled” I was until there was nobody to rely on but myself.

In Irvine, I wake up in the mornings in my humble twin bed and after getting ready, leave my bedroom and go into the kitchen to get my snack on. Not having anybody to say “good morning” to is depressing, since my roommates are either sleeping or have already left for school.

Sometimes I would come home from school and there would be literally nothing to eat that belongs to me in the pantry or in the fridge. Lesson learned: one grocery trip won’t last me a month; I have to restock almost every week, unless I want to starve. I was uninformed about how quickly dust can accumulate everywhere, or how one dirty pair of jeans can turn into a mother-load of clothing in desperate need of a good washing. I guess I didn’t know how to handle living alone and taking care of myself – until I came to terms with reality and understood that nobody was going to make my bed, provide me with groceries, or change my light bulbs. When it hit me that nobody was there to take care of these basic chores, I was left to do them myself. Don’t get me wrong, my parents still badgered me by calling me about seven times a day on average to make certain that I am still alive and doing what I need to do maintain a habitable apartment

Just recently, I developed a routine in Irvine and as long as it was followed, then shit would get done. When each week commences, I conduct a mental check-list that ensures everything is in order. After much practice and dedication, because cooking and cleaning are art-forms on their own, I pretty much mastered the physical aspect of living by myself. I acquired a newly found sense of independence and self-reliance that I didn’t even realize I lacked before I made the move to Irvine. When I come back home on the weekends, I refuse to rely on others to do the chores that I know I can take on myself. Guadalupe, our housekeeper of 12 years, is impressed and says that I am becoming a woman.

I get it now, besides for education, my parents knew beforehand that moving to Irvine would force me to execute my responsibilities and thus become more mature. The plan worked smoothly: I made the move and I feel pretty damn self-reliant – I like it.