Sexy Time

By Repraxia Choubakhchian
Rchoubakhchian@yahoo.com

It occupies most of my brain. It occupies most of my nights.
I like it more than ice cream. When I like it more, I scream.

I wouldn’t exist without it. I don’t want to exist without it.

No one wants to admit it. And that’s what makes it so hot.

Because taboos are fun. Guilty pleasures are even better. Not chocolate, not a cigarette, not even a little pill.

The best drug that’s not over the counter. On the contrary, I wouldn’t mind it on the counter.

Or better yet, forget the counter - I hear most drug stores have self-service checkouts.

Those are good too, but sometimes you just want someone else to ring you up.

“Would that be all for you today?”

“Oh God, yes.”

But that’s a lie…because I always need help with my groceries to the car. Some things can’t be done alone. My arms get tired from carrying the bags… but sometimes I don’t want a bag boy… I just want a bad boy.

I always hope that he is strong. The bag boy I mean. At least someone that looks like he can handle my goods. I always have a lot and they’re usually very heavy…

Running up and down the aisles makes me very tired. And then there’s always the occasional clean up on whatever aisle.

Sometimes it’s hard to reach things on the top shelves no matter how far I stretch to reach.

“Almost there.” And then I reach the top… that’s where they stack the best items.

I like to try new things too. That’s why I like it when strangers give me in-store samples. I love those little tasty things, but I never buy the pack, I just move onto the next sample. And the next, and the next…

When I was young, I thought I’d grow my hair out because it would make me look pretty.

Now I just think it’s practical.

When I was young, I thought bruises were a bad thing. Now I realize they’re just souvenirs.

When I was young, I thought toys came from the toy store. Now I find them in more interesting places.

When I was young, I thought babies came from two people having intercourse. Now I think babies don’t have to come - just the two people having intercourse…

Ever wake up in the middle of the night... for all the right reasons?

Ever wake up in the morning... for all the right reasons?

Ever not sleep… for all the right reasons?

Like I was saying… it occupies most of my brain. Probably yours too. But you won’t admit it, which makes it so hot.

Don’t be scared. Just confess darling, confess… it feels so good.