About me :
Armen Rostamian
Who I'd Like to Meet:
Armenian girls who can prove to me, once and for all, that 90% of the entire Armenian female population is, or practices the super-powers of being, shallow, spoiled, and empty.
I hope to find an amazing girl who only wants to wear things that cost more than her parent’s first mortgage, and drives cars that she sees Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in. Furthermore, I pray that this girl is so superficially inclined that she already has a road map of all the modifications she’s going to have done to her body, starting with a boob job and ending with an ass-lift (and really everything in between too).
I really want her to be able to give me and provide me with solid and unwavering bratty attitude and guilt trips on a daily basis. It would also be nice if she has at least one extremely rich and materialistic ex-boyfriend with whom I must compete.
It would also be the biggest turn on if her favorite color is pink, and if she likes to take things such as car emblems and/or other trademarked representations of established popular and high quality consumer products and color them pink, you know, to be cute.
Finally, it is extremely important to me that she be into all sorts of meaningful hobbies such as fake tanning, “cruising” for no real reason, shopping daily and it would be an added bonus if she likes to charge her daily thousand dollar shopping sprees to credit cards, this is usually a very good sign. It would be unacceptable for me if I ever saw her wear the same outfit twice!
She should own more shoes than the entire nation of Afghanistan, and have a collection of purses that would make the Queen of England feel like a whore from skid-row.
The words “Tiffany’s” “Beamer” and “Benz” should instantly give her orgasms and also make her love me.
She should use the word “like” at least 8 times in a 5 word sentence (and she can do this because she is so special that she defies the laws of mathematics AND logic!), and should believe that meaningful news stands for the daily updates MTV has about Jessica Simpson’s new professional vagina trimmer. Her favorite movies should only be those really stupid movies which require a certain degree of intelligent patience that only the Dalai Lama and Zen Buddhist Monks possess.
I would hope that she’s attending a junior college and that she has no real ambition in life because she wants a sweet, caring, trusting, smart, and very rich and/or successful Armenian man to take advantage of and marry. It especially impresses me if she’s planning on getting a PHD in Paris Hiltonology, or any related fields which would include Britney Spearsiology, Jessica Simpsonismology, etc. Ideally, I’d want her to have a PHD as a Fake Tanning Consultation Engineering Specialist. This would be ridiculously impressive.
So, if you’re out there, girl of my dreams, please please come find me! I’m waiting for you to ruin my life!
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