Man-Eater (Winter 08)

Anonymous

So naïve and clueless is man; though he has evolved, he hardly fails to accept the apple.
For a species that holds no reservations against repositioning their privates in public and leaving the toilet seat up indefinitely, it is perplexing how the male sex possesses such an image of power.

So they have a higher earning potential and the secret to opening jars, but you still gotta feel sorry for those men.

Maybe it’s because I figured I’d marry some rich guy who could put me up in a nice house and take me on vacation a couple of times a year that I didn’t consider my vagina such a disadvantage. It’s not exactly the most practical safety net for a college-educated woman to have, but it beats being a man. They actually have to pick a "real" major in their college career in order to provide these things for their better halves.

Perhaps one day I will feel sorry for the badbakht who tries so hard to impress me, that I give him the time of day and accept a marriage proposal; but that’s a gamble he has to take. Facing a potential rejection is not exactly a woman problem. A man would be unfaithful rather than break up - or worse- cut off a woman’s cash supply. Either way, our future is secured.

could probably go on forever jerking guys around, so long as measures of manhood are based on the notions of being a "player." You can’t be someone’s bitch if you’re "playing" them.
So what if you did her some favors?

A ride here and there, or missing guys’ night-out to be with her, and those late-night phone calls pouring your heart out…Oh, who can blame their poor, pathetic hearts- sirdnere mernem- driving half across town for a pathetic rendezvous, a meeting, nay, a fleeting glance at the specimen in question, before venturing back into the night.

Not that it affects me, but I hear gas prices are going up…

"Maybe they’re not all unfaithful jerks, and there is someone out there just waiting to treat me the way I have convinced myself I deserve to be treated"…I say choking on my words as I let out a skeptical chuckle. But who has time to let a nice guy into their life just to doubt his intentions until there is a ring on their finger? (Diamond, please).

But with every flutter of my eyelashes I feel that they’re onto me, that my manipulative schemes will unravel. Alas! What will become of the ‘condition of woman’ should man expose my conniving ways?

Nonsense. It would be impossible to obliterate such an ancient art-form spanning centuries, masterminded by the likes of Cleopatra, Hurrem Sultan, and Scheherazade.

Maybe one day men will tire of being subjugated, and stand up to their oppressors to empower their sex. It is then our duty, as women, to lend support to the cause, because men with big dreams are just so adorable.

While the other species chases dreams, the rest of us enjoy the ripe fruit of our sex. Besides, I would take free meals over a standing piss any day.

And what exactly does a Man-eater like to order? "Lobster."