David Abrahamian's Existential FAQ: The Advice That Matters (Summer 08)

I’m dating a othar what should I do?

"The broad masses of a population are more amenable to the appeal of rhetoric than to any other force."
-Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

I remember I had this dream, where I walked this rotten vision of earth. There was this old woman there amongst a unpopulated natural landscape, except everything looked like it was drowned in fuel. I walked up to an old woman, she was mumbling. Anyway I smelled the scent of fuel, in a dream, everything in benzine, gas, black gold. The skies, the mountains, the dirt, the air with that tangible shiny glint. I normally don’t smell anything in a dream. Anyway, it taught me an important lesson, everything is on the verge of death, a spark away from combusting; the old lady was perhaps lucky just because she was made it to old.

I’m sure there were slaves back in the day, who had it in their minds that they were inferior. Maybe they were convinced, if only subconsciously that they should be in shackles and their white feudal lords were perhaps God-christened superiors. I’m sure that’s possible. I’m sure you may think you’re better on some level.

I don’t think God’s watching the little kids with shrapnel in their heads as child soldiers, I don’t think he even nudged Hitler’s hand from burning millions in "hell"fire. Stalin didn’t exactly seem inhibited; and yeah, sure why not, even the Enver, Jemal, Talaat and the boys seemed to be having a hell of a time doing their damn thing.

You have a decision to make, and it’s not ordained. Nobody’s keep the Armenian National Scorecard; we’re not losing to Israel. The same people claiming nationalism now, would likely turn on a dime when it lost its convenience.

We’re all covered in fuel, we all burn in the end, go out with as much control over your mind, body and soul as possible. Because regret burns worse. Getsa Hayastan.
I am not the best looking girl, I feel like I’ll never find love….

So there is this guy, he hopes and prays everyday for a gun to kill himself. Everyday, he eats and breathes only to kill himself, with a gun, its his dream way to go out. So he earns the money, he gets the gun and loads the ammo, rubs the barrel against his temple, and shoots himself. He puts a bullet in his head, but it doesn’t kill him, it gets lodged up there, he’s just a little more retarded, and amnesiac. He spends the rest of his days depressed, never remembering the conditions of his suicide, why he had went about it .

Finally one day he goes to a pawn shop and he sees the same gun, and it jogs his memory.
He goes home puts the gun in his mouth and shoots up through his brain.

"Hope dies last"

Is there a God?

It goes like this, with a strong faith anyone can cross the Sahara Desert….but it sure helps if you bring a lot of water.